My Testimony

It's been a long time since I have posted on here and a lot has happened in my life since my last post.  Looking back on the year, my life has been a whirlwind of twists and turns and obstacles that I could never have predicted.  I just moved to Cleveland, Tennessee to attend Lee University and the past couple of days I have heard a lot of stories of how people got to where they are now.  Whether it is that they have always dreamed of coming to Lee or they got recruited to play sports or that they had never even heard of it about 6 months ago and now they are here.  So all of this talk of where we are from and why we are at Lee has encouraged me to tell my story.

One year ago, I was preparing to move to New York City and go to a musical theatre conservatory in the heart of Manhattan.  I was excited and nervous and pretty much feeling every emotion possible.  I was going to do the thing I love but moving to NYC by yourself at 18 is a big change from my comfortable life I had in Alabama.  When I finally moved in in October 2013, I was so excited for this brand new start.  I was also very very very scared and homesick.  The only thing I had to cling onto was my faith.  I grew so much closer to God during my time in New York.  In every way possible I grew closer to him.  What was so challenging is that in the musical theatre world, it is about selling yourself.  Promoting your talents.  Showing everyone what YOU can do.  The attitude in every audition is "it's about me.  I have to do my best.  I have to be better than everyone else here if I want to get the job."  Now I'm not saying that everyone does this in a negative aspect at all.  As a matter of fact, most people I met there were lovely and great and so nice!  And the short couple of months I was there, were some of the best months of my life so far!  I learned so much and had so much fun and hey, I got to live in one of the best cities in the world!  But I just felt like there was something missing in all of this.  Like I wasn't seeing the big picture.  So, when I came home for Christmas break, I had 2 weeks and I was spending time with friends and family just like every other college student does when they come home during breaks.  One week before I was flying back to NYC,  I was at a movie (The Secret Life of Walter Mitty to be exact) with some of my friends and I started to feel an ache in my chest and stomach.  I just thought it was heart burn.  I woke up in the middle of the night still with heart burn so I took a TUMS and tried to go back to sleep because usually if I have heartburn, TUMS take care of it immediately and I'm good to go.  But it didn't work and it kept me up all night.  I didn't really think anything of it so the next morning I went on with my day.  I noticed that the ache in my stomach was worse and I still had heartburn but I had a dentist appointment I had to go to and those things are hard to reschedule especially when you live 1000 miles away!  When I got home later in the morning, it wasn't going away and I just laid around all day thinking it was just something I ate.  But then the nausea and vomiting started.  Over the next couple of days everything just got worse and we made 1 trip to the doctor and 3 trips to the ER.  All having no idea what was wrong with me.  The ER just kept telling me I had a UTI and that I was just overreacting.  After the 2nd ER visit, they told me I was fine to fly back the next morning.  Ha.  Yeah right.  I woke up the next day feeling even worse and made a great decision not to get on the plane and a couple of hours later I got even more symptoms of muscle spasms and my whole body was hurting at about a 9 1/2 out of 10.  So we went back to the ER at a different hospital.  They admitted me for low sodium but still had no idea what was wrong.  After about a week of pretty much every test and x-ray the hospital offers and a surgeon offering to cut into my stomach and just poke around (sounds great right?!) I finally got a diagnosis.  As the doctor and his med school student walked into the room with a paper, I knew I was finally going to get an answer.  He said that I have a rare blood disease called Acute Intermittent Porphyria.  He briefly explained that it cause severe acute attacks or flare ups.  He also included that in the 20 years he has been working, I am the 2nd person he has diagnosed with this.  Most of the time when you hear about someone getting a serious diagnosis, it is sad.  But I was completely opposite.  I was so happy to know what was wrong!  Me and my family actually had pizza delivered to the hospital room to celebrate haha.  When I got home, the pain had not gone away.  It was still just as  bad as it was in the hospital but I was stable so they let me go home.   For about 3 weeks I was constantly in doctor's offices and when I wasn't I was at home throwing up or trying to sleep but not actually sleeping.  I grew very depressed (which is a symptom of the disease, so that didn't help).  I remember my mom coming home to me just laying on the living room floor in the same spot I had been in 4 hours before when she left home and I just sat up and told her I was too sad to move.  I didn't know what to do.  I felt too bad to go out of the house.  I couldn't keep down any good food or any food at all for that matter.  My thoughts during this time were, "I am supposed to be in New York City right now singing, dancing, and acting and doing the things I love in my favorite city in the world.  This isn't supposed to happen.  I didn't plan for things to happen this way."  Then, it hit me.  God>Molly.  I can't do this alone.  Why am I making this about me when this isn't about me at all?  I have to use this to glorify God!  This is his plan for my life and it is so much better than anything I had planned, even if it didn't feel like it at the time.  I immediately thought of the song "Just As I Am" with the tag that Travis Cottrell sings.

The chorus says:
"I come broken to be mended
I come wounded to be healed
I come desperate to be rescued
I come empty to be filledI come guilty to be pardoned By the blood of Christ the LambAnd I'm welcomed with open armsPraise God, just as I am"

I also reflected on what I had been doing the past 6 months.  Yes, I grew closer to God in my experiences I had at school.  But everything I was doing there, every time I used the talents and skills that God blessed me with, I gave myself the glory and credit for it.  Never once did I think to give God the glory for the things that he gave to me.  Also, I realized that if I am going to continue singing, I want to impact more people.  I'm thinking hundreds, thousands, millions, hearing the gospel and worshiping God.  Not worshiping the person on stage.  But worshiping our Father in heaven.  So in the next few weeks, I gradually saw doors opening in my life to go into Christian music.  I got accepted to Lee University's music program and really felt the presence of the Lord there.  Since then, I have had multiple times where I have gotten sick, but God is so much stronger than me and I have learned to cling to him and he will fight my battles and always be at my side, holding my hand every step of the way.  I am just starting my journey here at Lee but it is already a great one and there are so many people on fire for God.  I hope to use any and everything I do to glory God while I am here and after I graduate.  

I would just like to say thank you for all the prayers and also thank you if you actually read this whole post haha!  

'Til next time!

Molly

It's Been a Week Already?!

Hey everyone!

I can't believe it's already been a week since I last posted.  Time is FLYING here.  I've had a lot of fun doing Christmas things lately and time has just flown by.  I am coming home in 9 days!  That's so crazy.  Last time I posted I was on my way to see the tree lighting at Rockefeller Center.  It was a failure.  We got within a block which was quite impressive and took a long time because so many streets and intersections were blocked off so we walked about 50 blocks in circles to find how to get in the line to see the tree.  We couldn't actually see the tree but we could hear everything that was going on and I could see about 1/4 of the screen that was beside the stage all the performances were on.  There were so many people I couldn't even handle it.  I thought something terrible was going to happen.  I always end up thinking terrible things are about to happen when I go to these big events.  That's not saying I don't feel safe because there were bag checks and cops and barricades everywhere but it was packed in tight on those streets and I just like to freak myself out I guess.

ANYWAYS.... I always get off track from what I was going to say...... my midterms went well and are mostly over now.  I have 2 more dance ones right before I leave for Christmas.  But I'm really looking forward to coming home.  I can't wait to see everyone again.  I didn't get a lot of time with my family and friends for thanksgiving so now I have more! Woohoo!  Can't wait to see my dog too.  I just love her.

I'm gonna head off to bed now!

Night!

Thanks!

Molly

Week Recap

Hey everyone!

It's been a little bit since I've posted!  I would just like to recap my past week and a half.  I went home for thanksgiving and it was so nice.  I loved being home and seeing my family and my dog and just the south in general.  It was great!

Now that I'm back in the city, I've had a couple of midterms and exciting things lately.  Monday night I went with some friends to a winter fest in lincoln square and we got some food and we saw performances by the broadway casts of Cinderella and Motown.  They were flawless of course.  Haha.
Then last night (Tuesday), I went with my friend Ali, kind of on a whim, and entered our names for the Wicked lottery.  If you win the lottery, you get front row seats for $30 each.  We ended up winning and got to see the show last night!  It was amazing as always.  Just as magical as I remember it being.  Lindsay Mendez, who played Elphaba (the green one), was sooooo good.  I can't even explain to you how good she was.  Alli Mauzey, who played Glinda, was great as well!  I saw her as Glinda last time I saw and she was just as funny this time!  But since we were in the front row, we could EVERYTHING that happened.  Alli Mauzey made eye contact with me probably 5 times a scene.  Haha.  That was cool/weird. Mostly cool.

But anyways, that's what I've been up to!  Off to see the Rockefeller Center Tree Lighting!

Thanks!

Molly

Frozen

Hey everyone!

Today was a GREAT day!  I woke up at noon (first great thing that happened).  I didn't really do much until I left for church at 3:30.  Let me just say..... it is FREEZING here.  It has been in the mid 20's all day.  That is fine.  Not too bad.  It's the wind!  Oh my gosh!  The wind chill all day was 10 - 15 degrees.  I thought I was gonna die.  Haha.  But anyways, I went to church with my friend Hallie again.  We went to Hillsong again this week but we got there early so we could get seats instead of having to stand the entire time.
The preacher that usually preaches (the one that was there last week and I cannot remember his name for the life of me.  haha.) wasn't there but they had a guest speaker from Houston, Texas.  His name is John Gray.  He is the pastor at Lakewood Church in Houston.  He is amazing.  Phenomal.  Brilliant.  All of those great words.  When he first came out, the band was still playing and he just started singing.  It was great.  He kind of reminds me of Ruben Studdard(?), I think that's his name, who won the 2nd season of American Idol.  Anyways, he's a big black guy and he's hilarious and such a powerful speaker!  Here are a few of his quotes from the evening:

"Out of the 66 books of the bible, they all come down to 2 subjects: relationships and real estate."

"God speaks in the language of solutions."

"Dominion was not a suggestion for Adam.  It was a command."

"We are not humans having a spiritual experience, we are spirits having a human experience."

"When you know who you are, heaven responds and hell bows down."

"You don't go to hell for what you do.  You go to hell for what you believe in."

"God wants your worship voluntarily."

"God created choice. Man created evil."

"Wait and do it God's way."

"I'm loved and there's nothing hell can do about it."

That is just a small fraction of the amazing things he said tonight.  Google him people!  John Gray.  He is an amazing pastor.  If anyone from Whitesburg is reading this right now, get him as a guest pastor.  He is amazing.

Also, just learned that his daughter was admitted to the hospital a couple of hours ago with a 105.5 fever.  Pray!

On a different note, I have 3 and 1/2 sleeps until I get to go home!  Woohoo!  Please pray that the weather is good!  I can't wait to see my family!

Thanks!

Molly

A Week's Recap

Hey everyone!

Sorry I am just now getting to blogging this week!  It has been really busy as always.

I had an exciting week!  Tuesday, after I was done with my classes, me and my friend Ali went on a walk by the Hudson and riverside park.  Riverside Park is BEAUTIFUL!  I am obsessed.  We were hanging out by the soldiers and sailors memorial.

Wednesday, my roommate's dad took me and my roommate and 2 of my other friends to dinner in Times Square at a really good Italian restaurant.  That was the first real meal I have had in a month and a half.  Haha.  It was so good though! On the way back to the dorm, we were riding in her dad's car and we saw all of these black escalades and flashing lights outside of the movie theatre.  As we got closer to the theatre, we saw that it was the red carpet for "Hunger Games: Catching Fire"!  So we jumped out of the car and ran up to the barricade right by the red carpet.  We got to see Jennifer Lawrence and Liam Hemsworth!  It was so cool!

Thursday wasn't very exciting.  Haha.

Friday, after school I went with some friends to see Catching Fire.  It was really nice to be able to go to a movie and relax a little!  The movie is awesome by the way.  You have to see it.

I'm so excited about this week!  I get to go home! I am going to cry so much.  Haha.  I just really hope my flight doesn't get delayed or cancelled.  I would rather not spend thanksgiving in an airport.  I can't wait to see my puppy!  And my family.  I just can't even wait....

I'm going to see a show tonight that has a star studded cast with some of my favorites in it!  I'm pretty excited for it!

Thanks!

Molly

A Problem Called Grace

Hey everyone!

This weekend was great!  It was very relaxing and I got a lot of sleep and much needed alone time.  But I would have to say the best part about my weekend was last night.  Sunday night.  I went to Hillsong church with my good friend Hallie.  I went to high school with her and she is at an acting school up here in the city.  The service started at 5:00 so we got there at 4:40.  Little did we know there would be a line all the way around the block to just get in the door!  Once we were in, there was only standing room left.  It was so crowded!  But I would much rather be in a crowded, electric, energetic church than an empty one!
Once the service started, the band came out and it was like a rock concert.  But all for Jesus.  It was an amazing feeling being in a room with so many people who were on fire for God! After a couple of very moving songs from the new "Hillsong" album "Young and Free", the preacher came out.  I don't remember his name.  But he was phenomenal.  His message was called "A Problem Called Grace".  The first story he told was about a funeral he had attended earlier that day.  He was at a 36 year old woman's funeral who had passed away from cervical cancer.  She had 8 kids.  The funeral lasted 5 hours.  The reason the funeral lasted so long is because people just kept coming up and telling stories of her kindness.  He said that one woman came up and said that she has 4 kids and one night she called the woman who had passed and said "I only have 2 bags of rice and I need to feed my children.  Can you help me?" and the woman who had just passed said "I have 2 cans of chicken, but you come over here and we can use your bags of rice and my chicken and we can eat together."  Most christians would stop after "I have 2 cans of chicken".  But she didn't.  She was always giving.  Spending is a seasonal act.  You spend a lot around the holidays.  You receive a lot around the holidays.  But giving is a never ending act of kindness.
2 Corinthians 9:11 says "You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God."
The "problem called grace" he spoke of in his sermon is that God has so much grace for us.  He LETS us breathe in the air around us.  He LETS us live.  He satisfies us with his love.  He provides for us.  He sent his perfect son to die on the cross for OUR sins!  He loves us more than we could ever imagine.  He does all of this through grace and love!  We don't deserve anything he gives us.  We have turned against him and sinned against him everyday of our lives!  And yet he still loves us and his love is more than enough for us.
He told another story about a day that he went to his daughter's 1st grade class and spoke to the kids.  He asked them to get in groups of 2 and tell the other person things that they loved about themselves.  Most of the kids were very confident and were just spitting off things they loved about themselves.  He noticed a little boy in the corner of the room just looking at the floor.  He asked him his name and the little boy said "Alex".  He asked Alex what he liked about himself.  He asked what he was good at.  Alex said he wasn't good at anything and that he didn't like anything about himself.  He then proceeded to ask the class what they liked about Alex.  The hands just shot up and all the kids were saying things like "He's smart" "He's nice" "He's funny" "He's good at soccer" etc.  And Alex's head just popped up and he had a huge smile on his face.
It is so funny how this 6 year old boy could be encouraged by other people and the positive things they thought about him.  This is very similar to how God thinks of us.  Alex would have never thought he was funny or nice or smart or good at soccer.  We can never fathom how much God loves us and how much he cares about us.  What Alex did is much like what adults do.  They get down on themselves.  We only care about what is happening to us in the moment.  We don't think about how God has a bigger plan.  A plan to prosper us and not to harm us (Jer. 29:11).  By trusting in God and casting all of our troubles on him, we are experiencing his grace and his love.

"He is the one who has saved us.  He is the one who forgave us.  He's the one who has come and is coming again.  He's the remedy."

I think that sums up this post.  Haha.

Thanks!

Molly
 

On a scale of Minkus to Urkel...

Hey everyone!

Today I slept in as I always do on Saturday.  I went to the school later on in the afternoon and practiced dance stuff with one of my friends.  2 hours!  I actually practiced for 2 hours straight without getting distracted which rarely happens.  Haha.  I then got pizza to reward myself of course.  Then came back to my dorm and watched movies, observing the speech technique of the actors and actresses in them.  It's really interesting now that I actually know what is right and wrong when I am watching movies to see who is actually speaking correctly.  It has made me have so much more respect for them than I ever have before.  It's so hard to speak properly and healthily!  I'm working on it but it is not something that comes easily when I've been speaking wrong my whole life!  I'm not even talking about a regionalism, which is hard enough to get rid of, but I'm talking about the actual speaking itself.  The tone, pitch, etc.  I am supposed to speak like half an octave above where I have been my whole life.  The thing that gets me the most is glottal when I speak.  (Using a glottal stroke means you hit your vocal chords together when speaking.  It usually happens on words that begin with a vowel and it's really unhealthy).  This is something I just learned about this past week.  I knew what it was in terms of singing and I knew it was bad but I didn't know I did it when I speak too!  It's so hard to not do!  But anyways, I watched "The Help" last night and "People Like Us" and "Zero Dark Thirty" today and listened the whole time for people using glottal when they spoke.  Bryce Dallas Howard who plays Hilly in "The Help" (the mean one) has perfect technique.  I did not hear her glottal once!  I'm sure I could've missed it if she had done it but still!  She has great vocal technique!  Jessica Chastain only did it a few times in "The Help" and "Zero Dark Thirty".  She trained at Juilliard and Bryce studied at NYU I think.  Emma Stone has terrible vocal technique.  I never would have noticed because I didn't even know what it was. Haha.  Elizabeth Banks (she was in "People Like Us" she also plays Effie Trinket in "The Hunger Games") was another one who had practically perfect technique!  I'm so jealous!  Haha.  But it gives me something to work towards!

I'm really sorry I just wrote an entire paragraph on that.  I'm such a nerd.  See Mom!  I am learning things!

Now that I just openly admitted to watching movies all weekend while analyzing vocal technique like a total loser, I'm gonna go to bed so I can actually sleep tomorrow night and wake up for school the next day.  Haha.

Thanks!

Molly